A question to all men in their 40′s regarding their behavior?
Mary asked:
My bf of 8yrs is turing 47 this Saturday. Although we are leaps and bounds apart in age, we have always had close mentalities and views. Recently he is changing. He has never been affectionate and now he is. But he is also very emotional…not sad, but quick to anger. He even hit me upside the head, and he has never put his hands on me before.
Is he going through some sort of change? Like a male form of menopause? Is this the ‘mid-life crisis’? At first I was very happy becasue of all the added affection. Now I’m a little scared.
male menopause
My bf of 8yrs is turing 47 this Saturday. Although we are leaps and bounds apart in age, we have always had close mentalities and views. Recently he is changing. He has never been affectionate and now he is. But he is also very emotional…not sad, but quick to anger. He even hit me upside the head, and he has never put his hands on me before.
Is he going through some sort of change? Like a male form of menopause? Is this the ‘mid-life crisis’? At first I was very happy becasue of all the added affection. Now I’m a little scared.
male menopause
January 7th, 2011 at 5:23 pm
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If he put his hands on you, cancel his ticket.
January 7th, 2011 at 6:40 pm
male menopause
He is a mystery to me.
January 9th, 2011 at 12:39 am
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You should be scared. Get out now while you still have your life.
January 10th, 2011 at 7:42 am
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Yeah, he seems aggravated or something. Just tell him point blank that the physical abuse is a NO Go. You aint putting up with it so he needs to decide if he is going to quit completely or loose you.
Don’t take that crap from him. Tell him you love the affection, but the abuse has got to go no matter if he is going through some change or he is angry. Homey don’t play that.
January 10th, 2011 at 7:32 pm
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Yes, many men have some sort of mid life crisis period..
Never stay in a long term relationship longer than 2 – 3 yrs.
without a proposal of marriage if you ever intend on getting married.
January 11th, 2011 at 2:10 am
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well it seem like he going though lot of pressure in his life but that no excuse to hit you and know you are afraid of him and yes men do have hard times durning every month just like women do but not menopause he has a angry problem and he need to seek help though a council of mental help.but if i were you i would leave him in til he does gets some thing about this because it not going to get any better in til he does get help for it.
January 11th, 2011 at 5:42 pm
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All men need some lovin
January 11th, 2011 at 6:30 pm
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Knock him upside his head and tell him whoever told him you were his punching bag lied to him. Then boot him to the curb for good.
January 13th, 2011 at 9:08 am
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Maybe he is depressed due to many circumstances.
You don’t need to be sad in order to be depressed. Try to stay positive, but tell him you will not tolerate any abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual).
January 13th, 2011 at 1:55 pm
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Yes he could be going through a mid life thing.BUT THAT IS NO REASON TO ABUSE SOMEONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would at least talk to him about it IF it is truly the FIRST TIME it has ever happened & lay done some rules about what WILL happen if he EVER HITS YOU AGAIN.And yes I’m in my 40′s.
January 14th, 2011 at 12:56 am
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Well its time to leave him, no abuse is worth staying, if he does this and you stay what will he do next, no excuse for any abuse. Leave while your still sane.
January 16th, 2011 at 4:58 am
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Hmmm… I’m 41 and I think I am more affectionate. I think it is because *** is not the be-all-end-all of my existence now. Companionship is becoming very important. We had another child four years ago and I am enjoying this one more than the two that came in my younger years. I think I have mellowed more and I am not as selfish as I was in my 20′s.
As far as his anger? I don’t know. That’s not something I feel more of. In fact, I get mellower as I get older. Something is bothering him. He needs to seek professional counseling.
January 18th, 2011 at 11:40 pm
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There is a form of male menopause called andropause. I could cause the attention but it also can cause severe which is the only “rational” explanation for the blow I can think of. I am a person who sufferers from this. A simple blood test can check and a couple of pills a day will return him to normal. But wait to long and the depression can become a habit. Nothing he does feels right (to him) his greatest accomplishments feel like some else did them. He has trouble enjoying anything and I know this is private but he may have trouble finishing in bed.
I learnt to late to save my 2nd marriage (she was convinced the bed thing was me not loving her) Maybe you can save yours
January 20th, 2011 at 7:06 am
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OK I am answering this under my wife’s avatar cause she called me in to see this one. I think you should run and get out of this relationship as soon as possible. He is getting more and more dangerous and you have said yourself that you feel scared,this is a terroristic threat that he has made to you,besides the physical part of hitting you,it is time to wake up move on and find yourself a new life before we read about you in the papers of being found beaten up or worse. Good luck
January 23rd, 2011 at 4:56 pm
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yup, its a change that some guys go through called revealing their real selves, he used to be nice and now that he has you hooked he can show you his true self, abuse true self, ever notice how the hitters are a little more affectionate towards you? that affection comes from fear of reciprocation of their abuse, if he hit you then you should not stay, unless you enjoy the hitting, just wait a little while longer, it will get worse, i promise you that
January 27th, 2011 at 2:24 am
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this is the first step…RUN!
January 27th, 2011 at 12:39 pm
male menopause
mary, the anger is suppressed depression.The affection is because it relieves it . It sounds like he is unsure what he wants and at times is thinking of you romantically. you may want to back off for a little while he should come forth, because he would be offended recommending counseling.No friend hits you up side the head unless there is big issues.good luck
January 28th, 2011 at 3:34 pm
male menopause
You should be! All men go through some sort of change when they hit their forties or fifties but it mostly has to do with the realization that they too are not immortal.
Very few actually become confrontational and harm their girlfriends unless something else is going on.
Changing from being very loving to hitting you is not normal at any age. If he now becomes angry upon occasion, enough to hit you, then something is not right.
Have him see a doctor and make sure that doctor knows everything about this change. Do this for his sake as well as yours.
If you had only been together for a short time it could be said that maybe you are now just seeing the real him but 8 years is too long for that.